dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
is that a dick in a sweater?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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