he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
