Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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