the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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