I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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