I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Welp...herpes.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
