I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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