Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize