I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
