i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
