Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
