It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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