I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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