I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Alive.
So much puke
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
