It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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