It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Randomize