i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
