He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
