I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
