You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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