Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
