I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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