God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the condom got lost in my hair
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
