Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
