It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
