tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
