You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
