I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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