Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
