I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Are we still banned from the library?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
