i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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