this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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