Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
