So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
