Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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