So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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