I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
