so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
