It's Friday. Sex?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
