her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
