I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have demons in me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
