Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
