talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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