it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
