is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize