I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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