Can Purell be used as lube?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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