Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
