Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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