you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
