I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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