So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
