Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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