You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
