Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
