I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
