SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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