she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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